We are busy rewatching the Goldbergs and there is a lot that is very problematic with Beverly Goldbergs relationship with her children. As the children get older there are a lot of episodes around them going to university and Beverly not being on board with them leaving home. She actually goes as far as trying to sabotaging them getting into varsity. Obviously this is very toxic behavior but I think a sentiment many parents share. I have 2 children out the house and 2 still here and while I miss the older two like crazy, I can’t wait for the other two to also leave!
Let me explain.
There is a large age gap between my older two and younger two. There is almost a decade where it was just the older two and us. Then we were a family of 6 very quickly and it was chaos. Our attention was constantly divided and we were always tired. It is so lovely now to have this time with the younger two, we can do a lot more and we get to have some real quality time with them. I know that when they do leave as well I miss them. I miss the older two. But I am still excited for when they do venture off on their own adventures.
I don’t dread them leaving and I would never think of encouraging them to stay local if they wanted to also study/travel in a new city or even a country. It is an exciting time for them, they get to spread their wings and start following their own path.
What I am most excited for though, is the time I will have with my partner. When we met I already had two kids and we were lucky enough to have support in terms of trusted babysitters but it has never just been the two of us. I can’t wait for us to have the freedom to do what we want, when we want.
I love being a mother and I love watching my children grow and being with them is one of my favourite things. Spending time with my husband though, is also one of my favourite things! I am not worried we won’t have anything to talk about. I am not worried that we will get bored. I am not worried I won’t like him. We have such fun together and have been on so many adventures both with and without the kids, I can’t wait to be able to do that every day.
The narrative so often around this season of life is that you and your partner won’t have anything to say to one another and you will be so distraught because your children have left. I don’t think either of these things are how it is for most people.
